Benjamin Stanovich is the first human to visit the planet of Abraxis Six.  At least, that's what he thinks.
 

When they fired my Uncle Rory he laughed so hard that he fell down outside the GAIA building, banging his forehead onto the sidewalk and bellowing into the ground.  When they told him he had botched the most important moment in history, tears squeezed out of his wrinkly little eyes and he wheezed for breath.  He!  Rory Stanovich!  He alone had made fools of the entire Global Allied Intergalactic Administration!  He had lost his job as a satbot programmer, yes.   But he would also be remembered on history sites as the greatest practical joker of all time.